Patiently Waiting

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I am wondering how long will He wait

I’ve been running from Him so long

Finding every excuse that I could

Doing all the things I know are wrong

I go about living my life daily

As if I am not one of the elect

Trying to deny that part of me

Using work as an excuse to neglect

Neglect my obligations to Him

Those in which I know to be required

Instead passing through this existence

Fulfilling my own lustful desires

Patiently He waits on me to make up my mind

To get myself together and make that change

All the while He’s still keeping me covered

Never failing to provide everlasting mercy and grace

When you think about how I treat Him

Today we’re on, tomorrow I’m gone

If He were of the mindset of we mere mortals

My relationship status would be “All Alone”

But thankfully His way of thinking is not like man

Whenever I need Him he’s always there

With open arms to take upon His shoulders

Every single burden that I may bare

Never short of the promises that He’s given

Ever blessing, ever faithful, forever true

Yet I esteem Him so carelessly

Acting as if He’s just another member of the crew

So thankful that He’s never given up on me

Allowing me chance on top of chance

To get my life together & in order

Not taking me out of this life without a second glance

So it’s time that I make that transformation

And stop living as if I’m Lady Invincible

Time to stop running from this call

And just lay all my cards on the Lord’s Table

I’m praying that I can be all that He wants

And not just His part time lover

Thank you Lord for allowing me to get myself in order

And for always providing me with your covering

I Am….Because Of You

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If there never was a you in my life

I wonder exactly who would I be

You bring the best of “I am” from within

Causing the world to see “Me”

Your smile is the essence of who God is

For in it I can see the likeness of true joy

Your eyes reflect the meaning of sincerity

Like the thanks from a child with a new Christmas toy

Sometimes I sit around thinking about you

Grateful for the gift of such a precious blessing

Realizing that through every trial I’ve faced

You are the reward out of every lesson

The fact that my heart skips a beat

At just the mere mention of your name

Makes me realize the impact you’ve made

And how my life will never be the same

Since you became a part of my life

Just so few years ago

I’ve experienced a glimpse of happiness

That I want to forever grow

I’ve been so afraid of loving someone

Because of things that happened in the past

But I’m learning that some things are worth the risk

Even at the chance that it may or may not last

If only given one opportunity

To completely give my heart and soul

I wonder if I’ll be able to end your rain

And be your rainbow’s pot of gold

Whether I ever get that option or not

There is one thing that I’m sure of

You’re the reason I want love again

A gift sent from heaven above

“His” Song

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Now what I’m about to say

Some would say I’m not a la-day

But I have to take just this moment

To express how he makes me feel like a woman

When he gets that look in his eyes

That says girl I wanna rub on those sexy thighs

It makes the rivers of honey go raging

Ready for the release that has been caged in

I can never resist nor do I even try

His sweet kisses all over that make me say my, my, my

The anticipation he builds of what’s to come

With the flick of a wrist, the slickness of his tongue

Sliding ever so smoothly over and in my womanly treasure

Always bringing me to my first round of blissful pleasure

I want his love but I need his lust

To feel him fill me with each and every thrust

Of his manhood between those powerful thighs

As he sends me afloat on this oh so natural high

Just when I think I can’t take much more

He slows down to make sure Vagi feels adored

Juices flowing, like a Brazilian rain forest

Oh how he loves when I become so moistened

Then it happens, that ultimate Big O

And all a girl has left to say is…… whoa

The Forbidden

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Kisses, hugs……lust versus love

Who really understands the monumental difference these two possess

We all say I’d rather have the latter than the former

But the former usually happens before the latter when you’re trying to impress

Batting of the eyes…….swaying of those thighs

Causing the object of your attention’s nature to rise

Oh you may think that’s too much for a true lady to portray

Let’s keep it real, and stop with the unnecessary game play

You want him, he wants you

What in the world is a girl to do?

Ignore these raging feelings and emotions

Because of an erroneous devotion

To what others say on how I should act

Because to them, this lust thing is not something I should react

But hey, who’s to say that what we’re feeling could not turn into the real

But even if it doesn’t, we’re both grown and we both know the deal

My eyes are not wide shut but open and focused

Realizing that to deny myself is just bogus

The need sometimes is so strong until it’s not even funny

The magnetic pull it has like a bee to its honey

Wanting to get lost in the depth

Just lose my breath

In the intensity, the immensely

Riveting ripples of pleasure of my womanly treasure

Yet holding back because in the back of my mind

A lady has to be refined

Carry yourself as a lady because in the morning he won’t respect you

He’ll have the goods, leave, and move on without you

That’s what I was told from the time I knew the difference between hot & cold

Can I say though that I really don’t give a —-….can I be so bold??

Nah, I won’t go that far but just know this for sure

No longer will I deny myself waiting for Mr. Right because a lady must be “Pure”

I have no obligations to anyone but God

And in the end, he’s the one I’ll have to answer to, not any of yall

I say these things because this is what I’ve been feeling for so long

But let’s be real, I’m not that chick, these are just words to another sad love song

Oh how I wish I could just react on what I’m feeling right now

In the end, this little fantasy on paper is as far as my mind will allow

 

“Do You Need An Extension”

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It’s been a while since I made a post but today it is expedient for me to do so.  It’s either write or fight and as I’ve been told by someone very special to me, I’m too pretty to be fighting while flying. And the pen is mightier than the sword. I had a very humbling experience happen to me today while boarding my flight to Orlando from Seattle on Alaska Airlines Flight 18.

As I’m boarding the the flight to find my seat, the flight attendant just blurts out as I’m passing her (with several other passengers around), “Ma’am, would you like a seat belt extension to make your flight more comfortable?” After getting over the initial shock, I just shook my head and said no and kept walking. But that wasn’t the end……she yells after me, “Well if you change your mind, let me know.”

Ok, first, I know I’m overweight. I’ve never denied that so why is this upsetting me so much?  The fact that I’ve been doing this job for 7 years as of February 16 and I’ve NEVER been asked this question is the first reason. And I’m actually smaller now than I was in previous years.

The main reason I’m so upset though is the fact that in my mind, she was insulting me on the sly. Now as I watch this person as she interacts with others I realize that she’s just a mean old biddy and is rude to everyone. But it still doesn’t change the damage her words have done. I know I am a strong individual and I will get over what she said (after calling her a few words that I’m sure God is not pleased with). Hey, I’m just being honest.

But this got me to thinking. There is a lesson to be learned in every situation you may go through. How many times have I said things to people just because I felt like I could and I have every right to without thinking about the effect my words may have on them? When we were younger, we all use to say “Stick & Stones may break my bones but Words will never hurt me.” Biggest lie ever told. Words actually hurt more because of the lasting memory that replays over & over in your head of how you felt at that moment every time you think about it.

So in a way, this rude behind lady’s remark, although it made me cry (I’ll admit), it also made me do some self evaluation. Not just about my weight because that’s something I can fix easily. Hey, I’ve lost 18 pounds so I know I can get rid of that. It made me do some self evaluation of how I treat others. I’m not a rude person but I’m going to learn to be even more sensitive to the feelings of others. Not every thing should be spoken at all times. Just because you’re thinking it doesn’t mean it’s appropriate for it to leave your mouth.

So to the flight attendant Brenda on Flight 18 from Seattle to Orlando, February 24, 2011, thank you. And no I don’t need a seat belt extension (because I’m not that darn fat helfa) but I do need an extension of sympathy towards others. And thanks to you with your rude behind, I will now learn to give that extention to others.

This was my woosah moment so that I wouldn’t hit Brenda. Thanks Jason for reminding me to write & not fight. Love ya!! :-):-)

Love Letter

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Dear ________________

I just had to write this letter to let you know

That these feelings I have for you continue to grow

When I wake up in the morning you’re on my mind

All through the day, it seems like it’s all the time

Your smile is like a healing balm when I’m feeling torn

Your voice is what gives me calm in the midst of a storm

Now I know this can’t be a healthy feeling

But I want your heart, your love, even if I have to steal it

In the words of Jazmine “I Need You Bad”

Which, if you think about it, is really sad

Sad that I have so much love for an individual

Who at this time in his life is not with the ritual

Of the boyfriend/girlfriend affair

Man how life can be so unfair

I understand how hurt & pain causes you to run & hide

From that sensation that makes you lose control inside

I’m guilty, I admit, of plotting out a plan to win

At this cat & mouse game that we’re in

But I’ve finally accepted this inevitable fate

Realizing I’m not a chance you’re willing to take

Although I have been in love before

Just know that you will be the one that I will always adore

I do hope one day you will be able to find

That woman who will give you that peace of mind

I will never be able to tell you goodbye

But I know I must let you go, or at least try

My greatest desire is for you to be happy my love

And you will be if you follow the lead of the man above

I guess this is the end of this letter from me

Signed, Forever & Always,

Miss Tee

I Love Music

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I love music because he loves me back
Never questioning my motives or giving me any slack

He soothes me when I’m feeling oh so very fragile
Calming my crazy fears from all of life’s many hassles

Music is my lover, my confidant, my very best friend
Never ever judging me for my whacky little fiends

Always understanding the words I’m unable to say
Always soothing the tears whenever my poor heart breaks

I can be just the person I am when I’m with him
Not having to hide, allowing me to have freedom

Freedom to let go of all my inhibitions
Going for the gusto, expressing my true feelings

This love affair brings me such gratifying pleasure
He always knows how to make me feel like his lost treasure

Music is the reason my world rotates on its proper axis
He makes me smile even if my pockets are empty & cashless

Just to hear him and feel the swagger of his rhythm
Helps me to keep focus and to always stay driven

I will never give him up even though we may be apart
Because music my love, you will always have my heart